ahmetovic

; i really did. i will forgive. but i won't forget. i won't give up. and i'm sure as hell that i won't break down. i'm way stronger than that. stronger then you know. and stronger then you remember. by your side i didn't have to be strong. you were there to help me with all my problems. i'll carry the memoris. or at least whats left of them. i won't throw the little good i have left from you. that makes me keep my head up. and keeps me from the regrets. i don't hide it. i was in love. it did happen. and it was wonderful. i'll do anything to keep the moments alive. our songs are the best. the places even better. the words were beautiful. and the time we spent together can't be replaced. our nights and sleepovers are unforgetable. and they keep me from crying for what an asshole you turned out to be. at least sometimes. you were that angel i fell in love with. where did you go. why didn't you follow me until the end. why did you stop. without telling. i could stop with you. why did you let me go forward alone.

; i'll take the secrets with me to the grave. never told anyone about your darkest secret. all of your friends turned you their back. i was the only one standing with opened arms. i still loved you. and i wasn't a shamed of you. you did a misstake. everybody does. but i was the only one that understood & accepted that. you didn't care. at the begining you did. but then you went somewhere. where is wasn't any place for me. you were bad. somtimes even worse. but when you were good. i loved you more then you could imagine. that's what i always did. loved you. and that's why i gave you the power. to break me. to hurt me. to lie to me. to betrade me. it brougth an endless pain. it still hurts. but as long as you were fine. i was better. good. that's how i remember you. a true angel without wings that i loved. that helped me throught whatever. whenever. you were there. not always. but you were there the times you could. to stand by me. throught good and bad. it turned out to be to much. way to much. you couldn't handle my pain. you couldn't handle my tears. you were the only one that could see them even if they didn't fall. invisable tears. yeah. i had many of them.

; i would make it different this time. i would forget them. and look up to us. because. when you left. so did them. i fought for them. and they ran away. i would turn the world upside down. to get how i wanted it. for them. but at the very end i now realize. they weren't worth it. they are all doing my misstakes now. but you see. now it is ok. now they understand. little to late for that. don't you think. now. when i've lost my love. i want to erase every fight. every time our hearts broke into pieces. every tear falling down because of pain and hurt. i want to forget every betrail. every lie. and every time you cheated. i want to remember our laughter together. our tears of joy. our plans of the future. picture us together. it's hard to look at your picture now. without. crying. it hurts. i was so naive. i wouldn't do it better. i wouldn't give more of myself. if we had a second chance. i've been told. never to give much of myself. to a guy. i'm glad i didn't. cause. you would bring me down. even if we had a second chance. i wouldn't take you back. i've left for good. it's gonna be hard. i've known you almost my whole life. and i want you to be a part of it. well you still are. like a memory. or a enemy. you can choose. i won't meet happiness with you. i once did. but. you throwed it away.

; you did hurt me. yes. but what makes me think. that i didn't hurt you back. i'm sure that i did. there are different kind of ways to hurt someone in. i don't know how to do this. but i don't think i can't leave without saying good-bye. then i have to live with the thought. what if. we could maybe stay as friends. even if i was the one ending it all. but i have to do it my way. it's gonna be easier. i couldn't picture this for two years ago. it was you and me. and of-course. all of them. we were foolish. we didn't want to lose eachother. but i guess that we did. because of that. how could i be able to hate you the way i did. is it because i ain't over you. i tell them all that i am. but to be honest. i don't know. i want to belive that i am. but some things makes me falling back. to be worthless again. is it maybe a moment of weakness. i'm over you. i do know. i'm just not over the things you did. the pain you let me go throught. how could you. why did you. you did loved me. and way after we broke up. you wanted to hook up again. i said no. every time. i may regret it someday. but for now. i'm ok. i don't want to fall in love more. because in every guy. i'm looking for something that reminds me of you. and no one is good enough. no one is you. you were my best friend. you were the best in the begining. and if they can't fullfill that. then they are useless. i don't need them. it's bad. i'm looking for you. your eyes. your humor. your smile. your love. i'm still looking for you. and still like the last time. you are beside me. i belived in angels. but one of them broked my heart. i belived in love. but that made me fall apart. I don't think that time can heal. a broken hearted me. to be broken hearted. was meant to be. i didn't cry when i asked you to leave. into the dark. i didn't cry while listening to your fotsteps that faded away. now you were gone. i didn't sorrow when you went out of my life. i wouldn't regret it throught the years. it didn't hurt. and no tears were falling. from that day. i could sleep. i could breathe. and i was able to live my own happily ever after.